Transcript:
Why are you Right? Yes, you, conservative person. Can you answer that question?
I think
it’s so important that I wrote a book about it – How to be Right: The Art of Being Persuasively Correct. Because if
you can’t be persuasive about why you are right, then we, the United States of
America and the Republic for which it stands, are lost. So, here is the simple
answer to why you are Right: It is a more practical, generous, and
compassionate way to live. Let me explain:
There
have been a bunch of academic studies on how those on the Left and Right
approach problems. They pretty much all come to the same conclusion. The Right
tends to be risk averse, more concerned about external threats like tyranny and
terror. Conservatives – get this – tend to be conservative. They are less
likely to play with fire, in just about every sense: financially, artistically,
sexually. They are cautious about changing traditions (sometimes to a fault),
which is why they cling to that crazy Constitution they like so much – and to
their guns and their religion.
We
conservatives also focus on what we can fix, and accept what we cannot – which
is one of the many reasons we’re not obsessed over global warming. With Radical
Islam we know what the threat is, and that it’s a lot worse than a few missing
polar bears (I know that makes me sound mean – sorry polar bears).
Liberals,
the research tells us, are generally more outgoing, more likely to try new
stuff. They are open to new ideas (though not school choice, or flat taxes, or
a market based health care reform), and are less likely to feel threatened by
unfamiliar things. This is why, in general, they seem to have more fun. They
are more likely to try drugs, for example (which is fine, as long as they don’t
end up throwing up in my toaster). In short, liberals are pretty liberal. They
feel free to take risks that the risk-averse usually end up paying for – over
and over. Which explains the necessity for conservatism. We are the clean-up
crew.
Liberals
may seem to have more fun (and many do), but according to polls they aren’t as
happy as conservatives. And with all the fun they’re having, I’ve never quite
figured out why the angriest people I’ve encountered in my life have been
liberals. Maybe it’s because short-term fun doesn’t translate into long-term
happiness. Marriage, families and religion do that and those are the things
conservatives most value. Liberals tend to live for now. Conservatives for
later.
A
risk-averse conservative is more likely to save money. He is more likely to
protect his investments. He is more likely to protect property, and advocate
for rule of law and preservation of individual protections. And he offers no
excuses for looting. Instead, he empathizes with the Asian, Arab and black
small businessman whose convenience store, laundry or restaurant goes up into
flames during the riot that liberals reflexively endorse as an “understandable
response to injustice.”
Of
course, conservatives aren’t risk-averse in everything. But they take risks
with their own lives, not with the society. Conservatives risk all to build
businesses. That risk, however, is rooted in a fact-based belief (not faith) in
the free market. If people want the product or service you’re supplying at the
price you’re asking, you will succeed and the risk will pay off.
Over
time, it’s conservative risk-taking that creates a civilization, by building
families, businesses, and nations. All of which creates more wealth – wealth
that can then be used to help those in need. You need money to make money, but
you also need money to give money. Conservatism makes what liberalism takes.
So, for
example, for liberals to get their minimum-wage hike, first we need
conservatives to build businesses, to think like businessmen, to sacrifice
their own salaries in order to pay others; to sleep on floors if necessary in
order to break even. Then when they make a profit, and things are going great –
when the calm sets in –liberalism can appear and say, “How dare you not pay
these people a living wage?” Once the tables are full of diners, and bills are
being paid, and you’re thinking about opening a second joint, liberalism
arrives to demand its cut. Think of it as a protection racket. Sort of like the
Gambino family, but without loyalty, job prospects, and track suits.
In
short, conservatism doesn’t compete with liberalism – it sustains it. Without
conservatism, there is no liberalism. And so when a liberal asks you, “Why are
you a conservative?” simply say, “So that you can be a liberal.”
I’m
Greg Gutfeld.
